Understanding Who We Are… Doing What We Love

Our lives are filled with all sorts of experiences. Some are small. Some are life changing. Some we choose. Others are chosen for us. How we respond to these experiences, affects the outcome and overall happiness of our life. I think of it this way:

experiences + responses= outcomes 

[ e + r = o]

Often, we don’t control the experiences we face or the outcomes we encounter. But to enhance our experiences, we can control how we respond. And the first step in controlling our responses is being prepared.

My goals in responding to life’s experiences include being graceful, kind, patience, and showing love. I always look to be as positive as possible. I try to be understanding and open to different points of view; empathetic and curious.

For all of us to have the most fulfilling and authentic experiences possible, we need to understand the things that have the most meaning in our lives. And to do that, we need to understand who we are. 

Early on in my journaling, I realized one of its greatest benefits would be its ability to give me the freedom to explore who I am, away from scrutiny, biases and influence of those around me. My journal is my safe zone, my sanctuary. The place to work through my responses to life, independent from any interference. A place to practice, to learn from my mistakes and gain perspective on the situations I’ve faced, all in an effort to improve the way I’d respond to future experiences.

Like I discussed in my first post, my journals hold my most personal thoughts & intimate emotions, all my dreams & ambitions, vulnerabilities & heartbreaks, successes & failures, hopes & fears, my aspirations & doubts, all my beliefs, theories, ideas and personal philosophies.

By reflecting on these different experiences repeatedly, it has helped me to understand:

·       who I am

·       my life’s purpose 

·       my strengths and passions

·       my limitations and weaknesses

·       why I feel the way I feel

·       why I believe the things I believe and why those things are important to me

·       why I look at the world the way I do

·       what I like to do, what I don’t like to do & why I do the things I do

·       why I like the people I like & why I’m drawn to certain types of people

·       how I’ve defined myself throughout my life: (what it’s meant & why)

o   As a partner (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other)

o   Through relationships (family, friends, the types of friends I have; the people I know, the way I treat others)

o   Through my career (companies I’ve worked for, job titles, accomplishments, salaries)

o   Through my creative expression (journaling, music, photography)

o   The places I’ve traveled

o   Through my hobbies (birdwatching, stargazing, mountain-biking)

o   The way I see myself (personality characteristics, physical traits, intelligence, emotions & feelings, spirituality, my beliefs, degrees, where I am from, where I live)

The result of this lifetime of personal discovery, has led me to uncover the four things that are important to me. Here is how I define each one of them: 

·       Career/Calling – Doing meaningful work that I can be passion about every day. 

·      Creativity – Expressing my passions, talents & unique voice.

·      Connection – Interacting, experiencing and communicating with the world around me. 

·      Consciousness – Interacting, engaging and communicating with a higher power, Spirit or God

These are the things that drive the meaning & purpose in my life. 

My north stars. The things I focus & spend time on. The things I’ve built my goals & priorities around. The things I’m passion about. The things that I weigh my decisions & choices against when deciding how to spend my time & money and plan my future.

When I am fully engaged in experiences and activities around these things, my life is filled with meaning, fulfillment, purpose, joy & love. In fact, to help me stay focused on these four things, I have created a system around this, called my “Life Experience Box.”* 

When I’m distracted, appeasing other people’s wishes, pulling myself in too many directions or overcommitting, avoiding confrontation, unsure about my priorities, or not communicating what I really want or feel, things go sideways extremely fast.

The universe knows… and it is happy to remind me to slow down, reflect on what’s important and to get back to living one of my life’s mantras:

Do what you love

With the people you love

As often as you can

QUESTIONS TO THE READER:

·       What are the most important, BIG life things in your life, right now?

·       Are you doing what you love, with the people you love, as often as you can?

I would encourage you to write down your BIG life things & reflect on them. How well do you know yourself? Is your life filled with the kind of meaning you hope for?

*In a future post, I will share additional details about my “Life Experience Box” system; what it is, how it works, what it does, how I have used it and offer ideas on how others could use it to their benefit.